Palace Secrets Read online

  My eyes widen and I stare at Hannah. "Why would I do that?"

  "It would cast doubt away from what we're really after," Hannah says. She turns to face me. "If you don't sleep with him, he's going to grow suspicious that something is wrong. Tell him you love women. Make it clear that this marriage is out of convenience for both of you."

  My skin flushes at the mere thought of telling Alexander the truth about Hannah. "He could send you away! I won't do it."

  Hannah has to know it's a huge risk. "What other choice do you have?"

  I shake my head no. "Absolutely not. It won't change anything, Hannah. He'll want an heir, all kings do." There's no secret that sex between kings and queens often occurs for the love of one's country. "Besides, having a mistress is punishable by death if you're a woman."

  "Hardly seems fair. Kings can have mistresses and bastard children without being looked down upon." Hannah crosses her arms and approaches the door. "You can't hide forever from Alexander."

  "I'll think about it." I don't want to put Hannah in any more danger than I already am. Having asked her to look into the rebel faction is dangerous enough. Hopefully she doesn't get caught, but putting the spotlight directly on her because we have feeling for each other, that could be the worst sin of all. I will not risk her getting killed because of my desire for her. Love means sacrificing one's own happiness, not putting the one you love in further danger.

  * * * * *

  Anne helps me prepare for dinner, insisting that a queen should dress the part. It wouldn't surprise me if Magdalene and Anne were sewing new gowns for me to wear. I slide into my heels and stalk out of the bedroom without a word, heading downstairs for the dining hall.

  It feels awkward to eat in such a large room with a huge table for just the two of us. Though I imagine it's used on other occasions as well, like when royals from neighboring kingdoms come to visit.

  "You look lovely this evening," Alexander says and pulls the chair out for me to sit down.

  "Thank you," I say and let him guide me closer to the table. I know he's trying to be a gentleman. What I can't tell is why. Is this an act that he's keeping up for appearances? I'm the only one witnessing it. Well, me and a few servants bringing food and clearing dishes as we finish a course of meal.

  "How was your day?" I ask, trying to make small talk. I know he is planning the funeral for his father. It can't be easy.

  "Difficult," Alexander says. "I don't want to talk about it, if that's all right with you." His answer is short, brash. "How was your day?" he asks, trying to change the subject. I don't mind the distraction. Though I can't tell him the truth.

  "Still getting the layout of this castle." I smile politely and take a small sip of soup. It's plenty hot, just came off the stove. "I visited the gardens again. They're beautiful this time of year. I think they might be my favorite place in the entire castle."

  "I'll have to take you outside of the castle tomorrow," Alexander says. "There's a beautiful stream just a few minutes north on foot. With the warm weather there should be birds in the trees and maybe even some wildlife roaming the grounds."

  I fake the best smile I can muster. "That sounds wonderful." It doesn't sound bad, if the time was spent with someone I could trust. I'll have to let Hannah know where I'm going, in case I don't return back to the castle, should something tragic happen to me as well.

  "We'll plan for a picnic lunch and leave early in the morning. The guards of course will have to accompany us," Alexander says.

  I breathe a sigh of relief. We won't be entirely alone. Hopefully his men, though loyal to him, will also respect the crown and its country by not assassinating their queen.

  * * * * *

  I fake cramps and ask to be left alone. Alexander obliges without any questions. Walking to what would have been my own chambers, I slip across the hall and open Hannah's door. She's left it unlocked. Did she do that for me, knowing that I might come to her during the night?

  "Can I sleep with you?" I ask as I shut the door behind me.

  Hannah sighs and pulls back the covers. I'm already in my chemise, and I climb into bed with her. "You didn't tell Alexander about us, did you?"

  "You didn't really want me to?" I can't believe Hannah's suggestion. Nothing good would come of it. Men don't like to think there's competition for their wives, let alone it be another woman.

  "Did you lock the door?" she asks, moving her fingers through my hair, pushing the dark locks behind my ear and out of my face. "It would be worse if we got caught. What did you tell Alexander to get away from him for the night?"

  "Cramps," I say and lean down capturing Hannah's lips in a searing kiss. My fingers tangle in her hair. I guide Hannah onto her back, my weight pressing her down into the mattress. She grinds against me, her hands searching for the hem of my chemise, lifting it up and off, throwing it carelessly to the floor. "We'll have to be quiet," I say, reminding her that neither of us can make a sound. There's more risk involved now than ever before. If we're caught, there's no talking our way out of this situation.

  "Shut up and kiss me." Hannah's voice is raspy and deep. I do as instructed, shoving my tongue into her mouth. She submits to me. One hand cups her breast, feeling her nipple harden beneath the thin fabric. My other hand trails a course down between her thighs, lifting her linen chemise and finding her curls. Did she know I would sneak into her room? She's warm and wet already, her bead swollen as I draw my thumb in circles over her clit.

  Hannah's eyes are half-closed, struggling to stay open. Her kisses move from my lips to my neck, finding that spot that makes me wanton with desire.

  I slide my hand back, long enough to remove her night gown. Once our clothes are discarded, I slide down the mattress, leaving a trail of kisses and tender caresses across bare skin. She's restless under my touch. I part her legs, guiding myself down between her thighs. I can smell her sweet scent and I place a soft kiss to her curls. She likes it and I enjoy doing it for her. Her hips buck off the mattress as she silently begs for more. My fingers separate her folds, taking a taste of her wetness as it seeps onto my tongue. Licking and stroking, I slide two fingers into her warmth. Her fingers tangle in my hair and her gasps are soft but not silent. Reluctantly, I pull away climbing above her, my fingers teasing her while my lips cover her mouth.

  "Quiet," I remind her, kissing her, hoping that her soft breaths and moans will be muffled.

  The door swings wide open and Sebastian, one of Alexander's guards enters the room without warning.

  I pull the sheets up around us, my cheeks flush, hair tousled, and out of breath. "What do you want?"

  As quick as he enters the room, he leaves without a word. I can't fathom why he paid Hannah a visit. Are they – were they sleeping together? Did I miss something over the past two days? I climb off Hannah and grab my clothes from the floor.

  "Where are you going?" she asks.

  "Do you want to tell me what that was about?" I glance over my shoulder at her and put my chemise back on. Would he tell King Alexander what I was doing with Hannah? I have to track him down and stop him at once.

  Hannah clears her throat. "I may have come onto him last night."

  "What?" She's gotten my attention, that's for sure. I spin around on my heels to face her. "How does that happen?"

  Hannah glances away and her top lip snarls when she speaks. "You were busy consummating with Alexander. I got tired of listening to you both having sex."

  "So you went and found yourself a suitable companion?" I can't believe her! I've always been prone to liking both men and women but Hannah had shown no desire for men. It's why she didn't want to find a husband.

  "Don't turn this around on me, Ella. You're married to King Alexander!"

  "I know!" I grimace and scrunch my eyes. I feel a headache coming on. No, I don't have time for this. I must find Sebastian right away. "I don't want to fight with you, Hannah." In all our years of palace secrets, not once had we ever argued. There had been disagreements, b
ut it had always been civil.

  "Then don't," she says and covers herself with the sheet. "Get over the fact I'm sleeping with Sebastian. Be happy for me. He's a sweet guy and I deserve to be loved."

  "Okay. I can do that." I want to be able to do that, not lie to her about how I feel. I hate that she's intimate with another person and even worse she hid it from me. She could have told me earlier in the afternoon when we spent time together in the garden.

  "Come back to bed." Hannah pats the mattress beside her. "Sebastian doesn't care what we do."

  I'm not so sure about that. "Right." I decline the invitation shaking my head as I walk out of her room. I know she'll keep my secrets, just as I have kept hers. I can only hope Sebastian will be as forgiving.

  * * * * *

  From the hall I search for Sebastian. He's nowhere in sight. I tiptoe through the corridors, finding other guards but I pay them no attention. They don't ask what I'm up to at this late hour. Being a queen definitely has its perks.

  Coming down the stairs, I round the corner and catch sight of his reddish brown hair. "Sebastian!" I rush after him, wanting to speak with him alone. At least he isn't in with Alexander. I don't know what I would have done if he'd already have confided in him on what he saw.

  Sebastian turns around, glancing me over. "You're certainly looking well dressed."

  I grab his arm and steer him into the pantry and shut the door. It affords us both privacy. "You can't tell anyone what you saw, Sebastian."

  "Why not?" There's a smirk on his face. Almost like he looks forward to seeing my destruction.

  "I don't wish for Alexander to find out about Hannah. Not from anyone else," I say. I hang my head, pretending to be ashamed of my transgressions. Alexander will forgive me, won't he? Especially if I'm careful with the details, leaving out Sebastian and the fact that Hannah and I used to care deeply about one another.

  "You will tell him or I will." Sebastian's voice is cold and distant.

  He sounds as though I've offended him in some way. Is this because I was in bed with Hannah? It wasn't like she came clean about Sebastian. How would I know she had shacked up with a guard the night before? Apparently one that likely had a jealous and possessive streak by the looks of it. If she's happy with him, then fine. I won't stand in their way, but his behavior makes me question otherwise.

  "I'll talk to him in the morning," I say.

  "Good. Now stay out of Hannah's room." Sebastian's nostrils flare and he leans forward. "If I catch you in there again, I won't be so generous to wait for you to tell the king. No more secrets, Princess."

  "It's Queen Isabella to you," I say, correcting him.

  Sebastian snorts in response. "You're only a queen because Alexander needed your alliance to hold strong. When the rebels attack, and they will, your country's soldiers and knights will join the fight."

  "You know the rebels?" I don't dare ask if he is one of them. Had that been why Hannah kept Sebastian close? No, it couldn't be. She met him last night in her chambers, before we discussed the rebel factions. Does she know Sebastian is privy to rebel knowledge? Can I still trust Hannah to gather information?

  Sebastian leans closer, his eyes cold and his response calculated. "Everyone knows that this country is on the edge of war. One wrong move, for instance a queen that betrays her king, could be all it takes for chaos to ensue."

  "I assure you, Sebastian, I have no desire to see war break out in this country or among the nations. You have my word I will do what I can to protect Alexander."

  He pats my head in a condescending gesture. "I know you will, and I'm confident you'll stay away from Hannah."

  Sebastian opens the door and exits the pantry. I need to tell Alexander the truth. I'm just not sure how he'll take the news.

  Chapter Four

  I stare out the open window into the garden. The sky is gray with low-hanging clouds. It's warm outside, muggy. It feels like rain, I just hope it holds off until tonight. I ask my maids to dress me down. Frolicking outside in a decorative gown will be hot and sweaty. I'd much rather be comfortable.

  "Are you ready?" Alexander asks me as he knocks on the open door.

  I shut the window and clasp the lock, making sure if it does rain it won't make a mess in our chambers. "I am." I smile, taking his arm and following him downstairs and outside.

  It's the first I've been out through the main doors since my arrival. Two guards accompany us, one of them is Sebastian. I feel his gaze, silently questioning if I've told Alexander the truth. I hope Sebastian gives me time.

  "Carry this, would you?" It's not really a question. Alexander hands Sebastian our picnic lunch and grabs my arm, pulling me ahead of the guards providing us a hint of privacy. "Are you feeling better today?"

  I'm feeling a million different emotions but I'm not sure better describes a single one. "Can I talk to you?" My tongue darts out licking my suddenly dry lips. I'm nervous and my pulse quickens in step with our strides, faster and stronger the further we are from the castle. The more distance I put between Sebastian and myself, I feel at ease, but then I look at Alexander and I'm dreading his reaction.

  "Of course you can talk to me. I'm your husband." He laughs. "I know we hardly know one another but give it time. I have a good feeling that you'll come to fall madly in love with me."

  I could certainly question my sanity the longer I stay with Alexander, but in love, I'm not sure. Those moments of feeling passion for him are fleeting. "About that, I have a secret from my life back at my palace you should know about."

  "Did that secret follow you here?" he asks.

  Does he know what I'm talking about? Could he know? I purse my lips, contemplating how to answer. "I'm in love with a girl." The words race out and my heart surely skips a beat. My cheeks burn and my hands are trembling. I let go of Alexander, afraid of his reaction.

  "That's your secret?" He looks smug with his wide grin and shining eyes. Alexander steps closer to me, wrapping his arms around my waist. "Do you want to hear a secret of mine?"

  I swallow nervously, uncertain that I do. If it's that he's killed his father, it's best not to discuss the moment I witnessed. I'd rather pretend it didn't happen, at least until I can find a way out of this mess.

  "I find it arousing to think about two women together," Alexander whispers, staring into my hazel eyes. He pushes an errant strand of dark hair out of my face and behind my ear. "Have you been with her before?"

  Does he think this is just a fantasy? I want to escape his grasp but I can't. He's holding me close and I'm certain I feel his arousal stirring down below. "Many times," I confess. "I loved her, deeply."

  His hands pause on my lower back, his brow furrowed. "I see. Is it by chance this woman you speak of is your lady-in-waiting?"

  How could he know? Did Sebastian say something?

  "Please, I swear to you. What we shared is in the past." I don't admit fault, that I had done anything wrong or that it happened just last night. It's best to leave it a gray area, to protect both of us. I do hope that he'll find it in his heart to let her stay at the castle. I don't know how Sebastian would react should Alexander send her away.

  The tips of Alexander's ears burn red. "It doesn't have to be in the past. She could be a mistress for the two of us to enjoy. An added bonus for when things get dull or boring in the bedroom. Not that I suspect they will," Alexander says in an attempt to clarify his reasoning. "I do believe fantasies should be enjoyed, we are kings and queens. Why not have all we desire? I wish to give you everything you want, Isabella. Do you not wish the same for me?"

  "I do, but Sebastian is courting her," I breathe, staring into his dark blue gaze. He's charming and if it weren't for witnessing him ending his father's life, then surely I would be head over heels for the man. I drop a soft chaste kiss to his lips before pulling back. "You were going to show me the stream?" I don't let him off the hook so easily. He brought me out here to impress me. I'm waiting.

  * * * * *

  He
takes my hand and leads me down to the edge of the river. It's narrow, and there are large rocks that cut a path through the stream. I could walk across the slippery rocks within a matter of seconds, if I'm careful. Though I'm not sure the hem of my dress would survive without getting wet or dirty. Magdalene would probably give me hell over it. The river is moving fast and I'm certain there's a fish that jumps from the surface and plunges back down.

  "It's beautiful out here, isn't it?" He lets go of my hand and I walk up to the water, bending down to run my fingers through the river. It's cold at first contact, but feels wonderful on this humid day.

  "Come with me," he says and dashes across the stream.

  I stare down at the rocks and hesitate. "I don't know." It's not as though I'm afraid to get wet or fall into the water. I can swim. My concern is what happens once we're over there. Will he drag me away further into the woods with the guards trailing behind? They don't seem in a rush to catch up.

  "I promise I won't let anything happen to you. There's a surprise on the other side, just beyond the woods where the trees clear." He reaches his hand out to convince me to join him.

  My head turns finding Sebastian coming up the path toward us. I'm in no mood to spend time with him. Besides, I don't think he'll do anything to protect me, should Alexander try something irrational.

  "Fine, but you're explaining to Magdalene why my dress is ruined." I take his hand and skirt the stones as quick as I can. My footing slips on the last rock, the mossy slickness forcing my legs to give way. I attempt to steady myself, thrusting my hips back and my arms forward.

  Alexander reaches for my other arm, whisking me off the rock. I'm not the smallest most petite girl, like the servants and commoners. Royal blood is fed and it's no crime to have curves and thick breasts. The royal men love that sort of thing. However, I am surprised how easily he lifts me, as if I weighed nothing to him. It's been obvious since I met him that he's strong and well built, but seeing it in action is entirely different.